July 7th Mailbag

Image via NYT

It is the dog days of summer, there isn’t much happening, you’re likely wishing Russell Westbrook signs his contract extension soon, and you probably need something worth reading.

So, here’s your stuff!

Brady, I don’t know. Russ loves T-Swift for some reason and she needs to be here in his jersey at some point. It’s probably because Taylor looks like an annoying hipster. Who knows.

 

Matthew, although this was in response to Brady, I’m going to just assume it was to me, k? My bold prediction of the season is that Rodney Anderson gains over 1,000 yards rushing and actually becomes a breakout star for the Big XII. As my boy @OUUpdatedSB put it, he’s like Saquon Barkley with a little less wiggle. I’m down with that— especially when he has the best OL in the conference, and probably the nation. I hope that’s bold enough for you.

 

Nathan. What a good question. Also interesting enough that the best kind of hot dogs are Nathan’s Hot Dogs. True Story. Anyway, Lincoln Riley is actually an intelligent man that also wears a visor that gives him a +5 to intelligence, respect, and perception. He also studied under the tutelage of the illustrious Mike Leach before Ruffin McNeill; All of that leads me to the finding of Lincoln thinking hot dogs are just damn hot dogs. Who knows, though. You should tweet him.

 

Oh Jessie, it’s more than weird enough. Is this a legitimate question based upon the type of toilet paper that Lincoln uses? He’s West Texan, so I’m just going to say that he’s man enough to use one-ply, if not a damn piece of cactus like a badass. I bet Tom Herman uses baby wipes though.

 

Justin, I sincerely wish that your tweets weren’t protected since I CAN’T COPY AND PASTE THE LINK WHEN THEY ARE— but I enjoyed this tweet. I don’t think anything beats the episode of King of the Hill when Hank was looking for his “bait guy,” which happened to be a drug dealer. Those rednecks were fishing with crack rocks! The best part of the whole damn episode is when Boomhauer said, “mmmmmmmDang ol’ Fishin’ Magician.” It was truly a piece of art.

 

Interestingly enough, Nikolai, I live for these types of questions. Very good job, pal. This was a very easy decision for me, maybe it wasn’t for you. I would “do” Sarah Palin— I don’t think anybody is arguing with that. I would marry Wanda Durant because then I could mooch off of the front running success of Kevin just like his leach of a brother named Tony Durant. Lastly, Nikolai while it is tradition to pick someone to die, we do not wish harm on anyone here.

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2 weeks ago
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